Is Your Dream School Ruining Your College Journey? How to Find Your Ideal College:

What is a “Dream School” and why do most students think it’s so important?

You’ve been wearing your parent’s Alma Mater’s colors since you were in diapers and you couldn’t imagine going anywhere else, or maybe you’ve set your eyes on the most popular school in your state because most of your friends are going there.

Whether you have decided on a school this year or if you’ve been dreaming about going to a particular college for years, a “Dream School” is the number one college or university you want to attend–hands down–no questions asked–done deal.

Many students identify their ideal college or university as their “Dream School.” This is  Typically students classify a specific institution as a “Dream School” when it meets their criteria for a major, opportunities after graduation, or some other reason such as the school that has the best dorms, the perfect school colors, the best football team or because it is the Alma Mater of a relative. 

According to a survey by the National Association for College Admission Counseling, 86% of high school seniors have a “dream school”. Of those students, 70% said they would be willing to sacrifice a lot to get into their dream school, including taking out more student loans, moving away from home, or even giving up their social life.

The survey’s findings suggest that students are putting a lot of pressure on themselves to get into their dream school. This can lead to stress and anxiety, and it can also make it difficult for students to make a decision about where to go to college.

The cons to having a “Dream School”

Students with a Dream School are willing to sacrifice their social life, life experiences, free time, and we’ll go as far as to say their childhood to work themselves to the bone in order to get into their Dream School. 

But what happens if you don’t get into the dorm you’ve been dreaming of when you get to your Dream School? What if the football team starts losing, and worse, what if your dream school is way more expensive than the perfectly notable college next door? What if you’ve gone thousands of dollars into debt for a Dream School that you end up hating and transferring mid-way through your college career? 

Additionally, what’s the cost of putting so much pressure on yourself to have a dream school that your mental health begins to suffer or that you regret missing out on valuable life experiences all because you put every egg you had in one basket? What if you actually don’t get into your Dream School? What kind of toll does all of this take on your mind?

Your mind is the most important tool in the college process. You must start out with the mindset that you can go to college and achieve a degree. It is why at I Believe I Am College Bound, we aim to teach students to first believe that they have what it takes to go to college and succeed thereafter. But what happens when you’ve beaten yourself up about not getting into a Dream School or you get in and regret sacrificing so much along the way? Take a look at these alarming statistics about being fixed on a Dream School.

  • **“A study by the American Psychological Association found that students who are obsessed with getting into their dream school are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and stress.”
  • ***“Another study found that students who don’t get into their dream school are more likely to experience feelings of failure, disappointment, and regret.”
  • ****“In some cases, students who are obsessed with getting into their dream school have even been known to develop eating disorders, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts.”

It’s important for high school students to remember that there is no such thing as a perfect institution. Every school has its own unique set of pros and cons. It’s more important to find a college that is a good fit for you academically and personally than it is to get into your dream school.

There are many resources available to support you through this challenging time. If you are a high school student who is feeling stressed or anxious about the college admissions process, please reach out to a trusted adult for help, like a member of our team. We’d love to help you discover your ideal college and help you develop a roadmap to your dream career. Click here to schedule a free consultation. You don’t have to do this alone!

If the goal is to go to college to get a degree, to become more knowledgeable about a particular field of study and/or to have an experience that will mold you into a more professionally mature career candidate, then attending your “Dream School” shouldn’t be the priority. 

Going to college is not about going to football games, having the best dorm layout or attending your parent’s alma mater; it’s about getting your education and enjoying the journey. Sure, dorm rooms, sports teams and school pride can be features you desire to have in a school you plan to spend two to five years at, but those things shouldn’t be ultimatums. 

Are there any Pros to having a Dream School?

If you’re hyperfocused on one institution, it means you’re determined to go to college and that is a great start! Deciding that you want to go to college is the first step toward achieving a rewarding degree. If you have chosen a Dream School, you can be proud of the fact that you are decisive and are able to make a solid decision that you’re willing to fight for. Now, that’s grit. 

However, it’s not in your best interest to be so deadset on a school that your mental health and a balanced social life suffer. It’s important for you to remember that there are many great schools out there and that not getting into your dream school doesn’t mean that you won’t have a successful college career.

More than one school can meet your needs as well as your desires. In fact, you could be overlooking the best school for you because you’re so focused on a “Dream School.” 

So what should you do instead of obsessing over one school? Do this instead:

Want an old-school hack that can help you find the best college or university for you? 

It’s wiser to look at a College Search Book, like one of these on Amazon, that has a vast listing of schools. Decide what top two majors you would like to study, the states you’re willing to go to school in, the school size, class sizes, sports teams and any other top priorities. In the almanac, start with the states your ideal school could be in. If an old-school book isn’t your thing, you can also use online search engines like Google, Appily (formerly Cappex) or BigFuture by Collegeboard to find college matches.

Make a list of these schools after you do a general college search. Then, start narrowing down your search by evaluating each school with your list of priorities. You’re bound to come across a school you had never thought of but that could meet your requirements. Highlight the top five schools that do.

Take it a step further by researching the school online. Take a virtual tour or an in-person one if you’re close enough. Review the school on social media as well. 

Making a college decision is a big step. Choose a school that is right for you by doing the following things:

  1. Research the College’s specialty and see if it aligns with your major. Dig deeper by contacting the major’s department and requesting data about the success of the former graduates from that program. Ask about opportunities for internships, externships, faculty support and partnerships that will help you with job placement after graduation. Be sure to ask about the student-to-professor ratio. 
  2. Consider Campus Culture: This is super important because the environment around you plays a major part in whether you want to remain at a college to complete your entire degree. If the thought of being on a campus immersed in a major city with buildings that are in the midst of a bustling city stresses you out, then perhaps a smaller college town where the campus buildings are all accessible without going into another part of town is best for you. Observe the culture around the campus too. How accessible are restaurants and shops when you need to grab groceries or a bite to eat? If you want to go to church on the weekends, ask the Student Life department at your ideal school if there’s transportation to local churches. Research churches in the area via Google Maps. What is the campus’s cafeteria food like? Do they offer a variety of clubs for student involvement? 
  1. Get feedback: Getting impressions from real students, faculty members, and graduates who chose the same or a similar major to the one you’re considering is key. These are going to be the most authentic pieces of advice. Observe how the university interacts with students and faculty on social media. Reach out to alumni, students and faculty to inquire about their experiences. You can find these individuals by contacting the college’s admissions office or the major’s department and asking them to connect you with a current student, a graduate and a faculty member in the major you desire to study. You can also reach out to students featured on the school’s social media accounts if they are tagged in the post. Always do this with safety in mind. Focusing on the individuals that the campus connects you with directly is the safest. Never meet anyone you don’t know without your parent or guardian.
  2. Check the scholarships and grants offered: When I was going to school, I remember people saying, “Go where the money is.” In other words, go with the school giving you the most money for school. What they didn’t say is to consider how much the school offers and compare it to the total tuition. Evaluate which school offers funding that covers the majority of the costs that you’ll incur. Visit the school’s scholarship and financial aid tab to find out what opportunities are available to help you pay for your education. If this school is still your ideal school but they don’t offer enough scholarships, consider outside scholarships. Put a star next to the schools with the best scholarships, discounts and financial aid offerings. 
  3. Consider the requirements: Research the GPA and other requirements for the school. Evaluate your chances of getting into the school. It’s still a possibility that you could get accepted to a school even if you don’t meet every requirement but you should still consider their minimum requirements and whether you can come close to those standards by the time you send in your application.

Of course, there are so many factors you should evaluate when choosing a college or university to attend, too many to list in one blog post, which is why we offer one-on-one college advice. Schedule your free consultation with us today by clicking this link. 

Remember, it’s not in your mental health’s best interest to become obsessed over one school. Make a list of the schools that meet your minimum requirements and narrow down your list from there. Do as much research as possible as early as possible and choose a college that is the best fit for YOU, regardless of whether or not it is your “dream school.

Works Cited:

*”Survey Says: High School Seniors and Their Dream Schools.” NACAC, 2019, www.nacac.org/advocating-for-students/research/survey-says-high-school-seniors-and-their-dream-schools.

**”College Admissions Pressure and Mental Health.” Monitor on Psychology, vol. 49, no. 1, Jan. 2018, pp. 44-47. Academic Search Premier, doi:10.1037/amp0000097. Accessed 15 Apr. 2023.

***Bowman, N. A., & Wolverton, M. (2008). The impact of college choice on student success. The Review of Higher Education, 31(2), 175-200.

****Grose, Jessica. “The Dark Side of College Admissions: How Obsession with Getting Into a Top School Can Harm Students.” The New York Times, 19 Mar. 2016.

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